Secure Desire Read online

  “Cassie is under our protection,” Ian said.

  Frank looked up. “Holy shit, Chase. You’re behind Eagle’s Talon?”

  Kieran nodded. “Ian and I are. The group’s resources enabled us to discover a lot of the information we will share with you tonight, those resources and an in-depth discussion this morning with Andy Blake and Javier Ruiz.”

  Luke Paulsen pushed up from his seat. “Chase, you overstepped your bounds this time. You had no right to speak with them, and if they gave you any information, I will have their badges.”

  Rachel Paulsen slapped her hands on the table. “Luke, sit down. Ian did not overstep his bounds. I gave him permission.”

  Luke’s eyes popped. “Why?”

  “Ian told us in the waiting room the night she was stabbed, she said, ‘Cassiopeia is dead.’ When he asked us what she meant, we said nothing. I thought about it every night since and realized we’re not protecting Cassie. We’re protecting ourselves. Her attack is too painful for us to bear. Eric, Jameson, and Ian came to me last night. If this proves to be related to six years ago, don’t we have a duty to Cassie to help her put this to rest? And if it doesn’t, it’s clear to me Ian won’t use this information to hurt her. For God’s sake, you’re all supposed to be trained observers—and you can’t see Ian is in love with her?” Rachel said, swiping at tears.

  Ian stood. “We’ll give you a few moments.” The Chase personnel left the Paulsens alone, seeking refuge on the patio.

  Luke joined them twenty minutes later and asked them to return inside.

  Ian began again, bringing them up to speed on what went on during the dinner, including Wild’s harassment and the coverup recorded by the surveillance devices and his intention to derail her career as well as wishing her dead to make things easy.

  “Dad, you should have let Christian and me kill him,” Caleb said.

  Anger shook the room. Kieran stood. “At this time, we have no reason to believe Wilds was involved in anything more than wishful thinking to protect himself. We’re investigating rumors Cassie is not the first woman he’s harassed. I personally apprised Director Samuels and Paul Yates of the situation. All evidence was turned over. Also, we have reason to believe the five agents on her team complained about Wilds to the higher-ups. Tomorrow morning, the director and Paul plan to come by for a visit. I spoke with Greg tonight, and he will be here at 0900.”

  “I know this will be difficult, but tomorrow, I would appreciate your restraint and honor in letting us handle this. Cassie comes first.” Ian wrote a note on his tablet.

  “Now to Dr. Joe Maddox.” Ian summed up where their evidence trail took them. “We want to make sure he loses his license to practice anywhere. Any funds gained will be donated as per Cassie’s wishes. We expect Maddox’s arrest soon. We still have no idea why.”

  Kieran waited for a pause before explaining the circumstances of the potassium overdose.

  Ian cleared his throat. “At the Helping Hearts dinner, Cassie was assigned to protect Senator Robert Bynum.” He described the events of the dinner in a slow and deliberate manner, knowing the mention of the tables’ occupants and the planning would take Cassie off her game.

  “Are you kidding me?” Caleb raised his voice.

  “Who did this to her?” Sean clenched his fists.

  “Mom, Dad, did you know about this?” Noah demanded.

  Farmer tapped his mug with a teaspoon, and all eyes focused on him. “We are working to find out where the seating changes came from. Bynum Jr. and his date, Phyllis Wilson, were the original occupants scheduled for Cassie and Ames’s seats. Ms. Wilson was found dead, and we’re searching for Bynum Jr.” Martin went on to explain what occurred in the bathroom, minimizing the gore and explaining how heroic Cassie was, successfully killing Ames.

  Ian held his hand up to prevent any more conversation. “Andy Blake supported the idea that it was a crime of rejection. His theory changed with supporting video from the attack of Ames saying, ‘She should have died six years ago.’”

  A low rumble grew to a roar. Noah slammed his hand on the table, while Caleb held his head between his hands. Christian pushed to his feet. “I warned you it was her story to tell.”

  “And she’s suffered because of it. I spoke with the five of you in the ICU, and you stonewalled me. My team has put in a lot of man-hours to figure this out. I saw the police file, and I know what happened six years ago. Cassie suffered a brutal assault.

  “You also know Cassie’s home was ransacked.” He shared the evidence they had about the break-ins. “Since then, I ordered her home under twenty-four-hour surveillance. A cleaning crew removed the perishable material after the insurance company did a walkthrough and took photographs. Martin, please coordinate with the insurer and take Rachel and Sophie to do a second walkthrough to tell us if anything is missing. I provided Sophie with a line of credit to use at Cassie’s favorite stores to replace her wardrobe. Hunt says she needs to wear supportive athletic shoes. Does Jimmy Choo make sneakers?” Ian’s lips turned up. Everyone laughed.

  Ian turned serious. “I need to know Cassie’s unwritten history, and I need to know it tonight. No more secrets, no more stonewalling. Someone wants her dead, and I don’t think whoever is behind this is going to stop unless we stop them. I can hear it from you—or I can go up there and interrogate Cassie. Is that what you want?” Ian hoped they would not call his bluff.

  Everyone jumped when they heard a loud crash followed by Cassie’s room alarm.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Pete led the run up the stairs with Ian on his heels. At the entrance to Cassie’s room, he stopped in his tracks. He raised his right hand into a fist, signaling he needed everyone’s attention.

  Eric, bleeding heavily from a long slash to his forearm, stood five feet from Cassie. She sat perched on a windowsill holding a large glass shard from a broken vase in her blood-stained left hand. The monitor was screaming and flashing red, and the leads were in a tangled mess on the floor. Blood dripped from her PICC site, mixing with the feeding leaking onto the floor from the pulled tube. Her bandages covering her shoulder were crimson, and the immobilizer lay on the floor. The blinds fluttered through the open window.

  Pete entered and silenced the alarms. “Cassie, come sit on the floor with me.” Eric attempted to get her attention.

  Pete slipped behind Eric, handing him gauze to staunch his wound. Jameson moved in front of Eric, taking over trying to calm her. Hunter and Ian pulled Eric into the crowded hall.

  “What happened?” Ian maintained his position behind Pete at the door threshold, listening to Eric and keeping an eye on Cassie and Jamie.

  “She was watching TV when I went to get another bottle of nutrition. I heard the alarm, and when I got back, she was crouched in a corner. As I approached, she grabbed the flowers, smashed the vase, and slashed me. She perched on the sill, saying she is soiled goods; she’s a murderer. Hunt, she’s lost in a repressed memory. Listen to her.”

  Jamie was getting nowhere. If he moved closer by even an inch, she screamed and backed up against the window screen. Every time she brushed up against it, it loosened more.

  Kieran and Martin pushed the Paulsen brothers into the bunk room. “Luke, Rachel and Christian, stay here and try to reason with her.” Martin texted as he spoke, “Sean, Noah, and Frank, come with me. Noah, you and Frank, I’ll get you materials. Make your way to the roof, rappel down and catch her if she falls.”

  “Sean…” Kieran typed on his phone. “They’re bringing a dart gun from the main house. I’ll have Hunt fill it. I need you to spot for Martin. He will shoot the tranquilizer as a last resort.”

  Water filled her lungs. “Help me. It hurts. I can’t breathe.” Hands held her down. Voices called to her. Frigid bitch, Cassiopeia. Sweat covered Cassie’s brow, and tears ran down her cheeks. All she saw was darkness. “Help me!”

  Cassie, I’m sorry. I…can’t.

  Her body went rigid at the sound of the voice.
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br />   “Cassiopeia is dead.” Her screams increased in volume. Glassy, vacant eyes twitched. Her breath came in ragged gasps.

  “It’s not your fault… You did nothing wrong,” Jaime said.

  Cassie’s breaths turned to sobs; her lips tinged blue. “You don’t understand. Let me die. I’m soiled. Murderers have to die. Shlyukha dolzhna umeret.’” Cassie cowered. “No talking. You’re not safe. No one is.”

  Christian looked at Ian. “See if she will listen to you. Please.” Ian grasped Christian’s shoulder and crossed the threshold.

  Pete handed Ian a syringe. “She’s in trouble. If you can’t calm her fast, use it.” Ian slipped it in his sleeve.

  “I’m soiled goods. Murderers die. Let me die.” Cassie leaned over and clutched her chest, gulping air between cries. “I’m a coward. I let them die. Garett knows. He will tell everyone I was dirty and killed him. They will kill everyone I love. Let me die, so no one else does.”

  “Cassie, no one can get to you here,” Jamie said.

  Ian approached with slow steps. “Cassie?” Her eyes were wild and unfocused. “Cassie, it’s Ian.” She raised the glass in her hand like a weapon. “Cassie!” He used his stern commander’s voice.

  Cassie lifted her head. Shock filled her gaze, but she would not let him get any closer. Tears streamed down her cheeks.

  Ian’s voice softened. “Cassie, you’re safe. No one will hurt you.”

  Cassie panted. “You don’t understand. No one does. They’ll kill you. They’re coming for me.”

  Ian took another baby step. “Help me understand, sweetheart. Tell me, Cassie. Trust me.”

  Cassie wobbled against the screen. “It won’t stop. I don’t deserve anything good. Laurie died. Nana died. No one helped them. We had so much fun. We went to the museum. We went in the helicopter. No one helped. Daddy told me to go, to be brave. I wasn’t brave. I was selfish. They died because I wasn’t strong enough. I left them. I should have saved them. I deserve to be punished.”

  “You didn’t kill them, sweetheart; no one blames you.”

  Cassie started to shake. “That night, I was so happy, you see. I did well at the showing. I met an interesting man. He kissed my hand.” When she tried to lift her right hand to look at it, Ian’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat.

  “I went to meet Garett. We were going to celebrate. They said I was selfish. No one helped me, so many cruel voices. I asked them why. They said I wasn’t supposed to wake up. It was my fault because I wasn’t a good girl. I didn’t follow their rules; it had to be the hard way. I messed everything up. I’m a frigid bitch. Nastoyashchiy muzhchina vnutri tebya, moya simpatichnaya malen’kaya shlyukha.”

  Ian closed his eyes at the vulgar Russian words. A real man is inside you, my pretty little whore.

  “Cassiopeia is dead. You see, I was supposed to die. Ian is too good for me. Garett left me. He told me I wasn’t worth it—soiled goods. No one will ever love me or want a whore. At the dinner, Garett told me he left me to protect the baby and me. He still loves me. I know he will tell them.”

  Ian inhaled at her words. Tremors overtook Cassie’s body.

  “I had to go away. Chris-Chris helped me.”

  “Tell him, Bunny,” Christian begged as two ropes dropped past the window.

  “I couldn’t let anyone see me. They would know I was a whore. I tried to be good. I tried to do things right. I disappointed everyone again. My womb is sullied. I killed him. I am a murderer.” Her eyes were deep black voids. The screen suddenly fell to the ground with a clatter, and Cassie rocked backward in the opening and began to fall.

  Ian closed the distance and pulled her into his arms as Cassie fought hard against him. He held her tightly. “Shh.”

  Cassie continued to struggle despite her injured shoulder. Ian reached into his sleeve and removed the syringe. She didn’t even flinch at the needle stick. “You deserve to be happy. Your baby’s death was not your fault.”

  Her arms were trapped between them. She pulled at the bandages across her chest to expose her wounds and scars. Ian released his hug and circled her wrists with his thumbs and forefingers.

  “No man will want me. Love me. Look at me. I’m a dirty, disgusting whore.” Cassie tried with no effect to break his grip.

  “Cassie, so many people love you.”

  “No! I am scarred and defective. Everything good in my life goes away or dies. Everybody will be better off if I’m dead.”

  Ian pressed his lips to the top of her head. “Cassie, your scars show how strong you are. You’re not defective. You… are… beautiful. Cassie, I want you. I want you more than anyone or anything in my life. I love you.”

  Ian placed gentle kisses against her swollen eyes, each reddened, tear-stained cheek, and her sweet, salt-tinged lips. “Trust me, sweetheart. Let me help you. Let me keep you safe. You’re not a murderer.” He rocked her in his arms until she succumbed to the medication. The minute she was out, Ian rushed her into the treatment room.

  Once she was on the table, Pete forced him into the hallway. “Let us work. I promise you’ll know ASAP. Take everyone downstairs.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  The minute Ian hit the bottom step; Martin tossed him a clean t-shirt. Ian quickly washed up and returned to the reeling family, where Kieran pushed him down into a chair. “Everyone take a deep breath. I think we have a lot to talk about. We owe this to Cassie.”

  Ian looked at his brother. “I’m going to ask straightforward questions. You all heard her. Let’s start. Who is Laurie?” Ian’s voice was emotionless.

  Rachel answered, “Laurie was Cassie’s best childhood friend. She died after lightning started a house fire. Cassie and Laurie were both five.”

  “What happened to Nana?”

  Luke shook his head. “She was old. Cassie worshipped her. One morning, she found her in her studio dead at her easel. Cassie was nine.”

  “Luke, you told me about the helicopter crash. From what I understand, Billy Ellis was conscious after the crash.”

  “Cassie tried to free them. According to Cassie, Billy yelled at her to stop trying to help them. To save herself. That he would always love her. She kissed them goodbye, clawed her way from the wreckage, and swam to the surface. She was almost dead by the time the police divers pulled her from the water. Even with no strength, she fought to get back to them.”

  “Did Cassie have medical issues after her crash injuries?” Eric asked.

  Rachel nodded. “I think like anyone after surgery, she had pain and burning across the incision.”

  “You’re right. We expect similar sensation issues with her current injuries. It’s all treatable,” Eric said.

  “Well, she was sixteen. The doctors didn’t give her much help, and they weren't as invested in her as you are. They told her to take ibuprofen, hang in and give it time. They worried about addiction and forgot about the girl.”

  “Damn,” Martin said under his breath.

  Rachel looked at her sons. “She still has occasional bladder pain—more when she’s tired. Cramping around her time of the month. Cold is not her friend. I know this falls into the ‘too much information’ category.”

  Martin jotted notes. “Sounds like she has survivor’s guilt. Her friend, her grandmother, her family all died.”

  “And her baby,” Christian whispered.

  Noah couldn’t suppress his anger. “Damn you, Chris. Why didn’t you say something? We could have helped. What the hell happened?”

  Christian’s shoulders slumped. “Don’t you think I wanted to? She begged me not to. She was broken. When Cassie arrived on my doorstep, she looked like she hadn’t slept in days. I fed her and put her to bed. The next morning, she was very sick. I wanted to take her to the doctor. She told me she was pregnant and begged me to help keep the secret because she was worried about appearances. I tried to tell her no one would care, but she wouldn’t listen. I used my contacts to get her a fake ID. She kept saying she was dirty. Garett to
ld her she was soiled goods. She planned to give up the baby for adoption. I found her a good obstetrician and psychologist, and she insisted on all cash transactions.

  “The baby was due the first week of February. She called home every week, pretending nothing was wrong. That’s the real reason why I left my team and took the trainer position at Silver Strand. Caleb was gone on an extended deployment. You guys were training in Little Creek, or out of town. Mom and Dad, you never won that special holiday vacation for two. It was Cassie. The rest of the time, she was too busy getting Tommy’s House up and running. I was worried out of my mind. My friends helped me keep watch on her. As Tommy’s House started to come together, so did Cassie. She went to daily therapy, swam, meditated, and exercised.

  “The second week of December, Cass went into hard labor without warning. She was healthy, and no one saw it coming. I walked into the apartment after work, and she was writhing on the floor. She never made a sound or called out for help. She was there for hours, suffering alone. I don’t think it would have changed anything. I called ahead to the hospital, but it was too late, the cord strangled him. The doctors and nurses were so good with her. But no matter what anyone said, Cassie decided she’d killed him. We buried William Thomas Ensworth five days later. She gave him her father’s middle name. Cassie returned to Georgetown nine weeks after that, swearing me to secrecy.”

  “So, she returned to Georgetown and entered Quantico? How did she make it through the background check—psychological and physical?” Kieran asked, incredulous.

  “When she broke her pelvis, she asked Chris and I to put her through modified SEAL training. By the time she went to college, she was physically fine,” Caleb said.

  “Up until she lost the baby, she worked out with my guys at the Strand. The minute the doctor cleared her; she went back to the workout. Her background check was perfect. She passed her FBI qualification in the men’s ranges. The psych, she passed. My guess is she told them what they wanted to hear. I’m sure the Bureau scoured her medical records for excuses not to take her. We sanitized the extent of the attack, but the scars were visible. The Whitmans wouldn’t talk, and neither would a bunch of SEALs. She participated in enough on-the-books therapy to satisfy the bean counters. The other medical records concerning the baby and her real psychotherapy were all under an assumed name.