Secure Desire Read online

  “I want my brother to be happy.”

  “I do too. And this scares me. I worry he’ll be hurt by my insecurities as well as any of you being hurt by the people wanting to kill me. I’m sorry I’ve screwed up everyone’s lives.” Cassie sniffled.

  “You haven’t done anything wrong, Cassie. My brother loves you, and that’s good enough for me.” Kieran’s phone went off, and he excused himself to take the call.

  “He has harder edges than Ian. He hates me.”

  “He doesn’t hate you. He’s protective of his brother,” Tucker offered a different view.

  “He thinks Ian is going to be hurt.”

  Tucker looked up at Kieran’s retreating back. “Believe him, he wants Ian to be happy.”

  Cassie sipped her lemonade. “Tuck, can I ask you something?”

  “Darlin’, after what we’ve shared together, you can ask anything.”

  A blush tinted her cheeks. “How did you know your wife was the one?”

  Now Tucker was the one blushing. “Nikki and I met overseas. She flew helos out of Bagram. One day there she was; I took one look at her in the mess hall—and I knew. She was sitting with a group of pilots and crew. She had no clue who I was. Ask Pete—I was a lovesick fool, but I waited for my moment. One night she dropped Pete and me onto some frozen mountain to help a SEAL who took a bullet protecting an Afghani child. Turns out, it was Kieran. One round hit him in the belly. We jumped in; no landing possible. Nothing like two days freezing your man parts off, taking enemy fire, and carrying a critically ill soldier to make you realize what you want. We made it to our evacuation zone, and Nikki flew us out.

  "After we got back to base, I pursued her.” Tuck’s eyes brightened. “Problem was—she was an officer, and I was enlisted. No fraternization is allowed. I spent a month breaking the rules and wearing her down. Sitting at the same table for meals. Somehow jogging at the same time she did. Bumping into her walking back to her quarters from the showers. Totally a stalker.” Tucker smiled, and Cassie giggled.

  “I left her sappy love notes. One night, I stole a kiss. That was it. That kiss was perfect. We were standing by the latrine dump. Who needs the beautiful scent of flower shampoo when you have the results of the military’s unhealthy diet?”

  Cassie was rolling with laughter at Tucker’s expression.

  “I rotated home first. Nine months later, she followed. I was in school in Texas, while home for her was in Maryland. We kept up a long-distance thing—a stolen weekend here and there. The first time we were together without rules was terrific. Leaving her behind was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

  "When I graduated, Kieran called with a quick gig and said there might be more. I was assigned to you the day of your second surgery. I have to tell you, darlin’, Ian should pay you. You put all of us through our paces.

  “Nikki was already working for Children’s National as a pilot. Once I transplanted here, it was a done deal. We married three months later, and she’s expecting our first.”

  Cassie’s eyes fogged hearing his story.

  “Ah, darlin’, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  Cassie smiled. “Tuck, please. You didn’t say anything wrong. I was thinking about how brave you were to just trust that feeling. That’s what upsets me. I’m scared to trust my instincts.”

  “It isn’t bravery. Instinct is what makes us human. It gets hard when your instincts tell you one thing, and hoping things are different makes you go against what’s natural. If, on the other hand, it tells you something wonderful can happen… well, that’s the best. I don't think we’re talking about me any longer. Are we talking about Ian?”

  Cassie’s cheeks turned pink. “Uh-huh.”

  “Listen to me, if there is someone you can trust, it’s Ian. All that gossip is BS, but I think you know that. And don’t worry about Kieran—he wants the best for you too.” Tucker checked his watch. “Hmm, I am under orders from Monique to bring your butt up to the main house to get you date-ready.”

  Cassie shrieked like a little girl. “I’m building you quite a résumé. Glitter and now dating help. If you have a daughter, you’ll be great.”

  “If I have a daughter, she’s going under Chase Security protection at birth.” They laughed together.

  Cassie insisted on walking. Halfway up, she noticed Martin leaning against the fence watching her. “Why is Martin playing a scarecrow?”

  Tucker pointed at him, followed by a signal to come closer. Martin smiled and walked over. “Cassie wants to know why you’re playing a scarecrow.”

  “Just thinking how terrific you look, Gator.”

  Tucker placed a supportive hand on Cassie’s back, noticing she had started to tire. She walked a few more steps, breathing heavily. “And I’m your new charge?”

  “Caught. Yes, you are,” Martin said.

  Her brow furrowed until Tucker stepped in. “Cassie, Ian isn’t giving up on you. He wants to be your boyfriend. Martin is in charge of your safety.”

  Ten feet from the house, she stopped again and grabbed Tucker’s forearm. “Don’t tell me I told you so.” She bent over, placing her hands on her thighs and sucking in deep breaths of air.

  “Ian and Dr. Montgomery warned me you were stubborn.” Cassie felt a strong arm behind her knees and another across her back. “Where to?” Martin lifted her and headed into the house. “Can’t screw up on my first day.”

  Monique and Sophie waited to surprise her. After a luxurious shower, Cassie sat at Monique’s dressing table. Monique started her makeup while Sophie worked on her hair. They chatted about Martin, and Cassie was horrified to hear all the details of his injuries. She asked Monique if he was seeing someone. She thought he would be perfect for Sophie. “Soph, he’s adorable.” Sophie blushed. Changing the subject, they giggled at the latest gossip in the news.

  Cassie tilted her head and asked, “You don’t have to answer, but how did you decide, um, when to…um….”

  “Get laid?” Sophie asked. Cassie’s cheeks flamed crimson.

  Monique stopped applying the eyeliner and sat next to her. “I like your style, Sophie Garland. We will fix you up with Martin yet. Well, doll, some people just do it to get it over with. I’d never recommend that. You deserve the whole package.” Monique’s French accent seemed to make her words bawdier. Cassie’s cheeks turned pink again.

  Sophie shook with laughter. “Cass, I don’t think Monique quite meant that package. Though, when the time comes, that matters too.”

  “My first was a photographer. I was seventeen, and Paulo was fifteen years older. It was wonderful. We were artists, don’t you know? He was a very attentive lover, made me feel good and taught me a lot. We lived together for two years. When I wanted marriage, he didn’t, so we parted ways. I still see him at a shoot now and then. When we were together, he was invested in how I felt—my needs. He taught me what he liked, to ask him what he needed and tell him what I needed. That matters—you need to find your sexual voice. Twelve years and a few partners later—some good, some not so much—I met Kieran, him and his alpha male behavior.

  “We met because I had a stalker. My agency hired Chase Security, and Kier came out to go over the contracts. The next thing I know, he decided none of his personnel could handle it. Thanks to the madman, he also decided I needed him in my suite. After one horrible day, I received a death threat attached to my dead cat. The bastard. I lost it.

  "Men hate tears, so Kieran tried to comfort me. Those blue eyes. His strong arms around me. My heart stopped. And that first kiss, my god—c’est magnifique. I'd never experienced that before. And the rest, as they say, is history. He is such an attentive lover. We can share our likes. Sometimes, it’s not so sweet.” Monique batted her eyes. “Can you ladies keep a secret? Haven’t told the folks, but a little Chase is coming after the start of the new year. We’re waiting a little longer…just for us.”

  Sophie and Cassie squealed with delight. “That’s so great. We’ll keep the secret,” Cassie
said.

  Sophie turned to Cassie. “Now back to you, lady. I’ve made love, and I’ve had sex. Remember the jock from our junior year?”

  “I just remember you saying he was big everywhere except his brain.”

  “Yeah, he was the one. Sex: thumbs up. Everything else: major thumbs down. Then there was Henry. He was gorgeous, but he couldn’t rise to the occasion because I was the wrong type: girl. He preferred men. And now Preston. I thought he was the whole package. He’s smart and outstanding in the sack, but after what he let happen to you, Cass…”

  "Don't blame Preston. The one to hate is Wilds," Cassie said.

  "You’re a lot more forgiving than me," Sophie sighed.

  Monique took both of Cassie’s hands in hers. “Doll, I can swear to one thing: Ian is a good man. He will never hurt you. Always be honest with him; that’s the most important thing.”

  Two hours later—advised, pampered, and perfumed—Cassie put on some stunning lace underwear. Monique thought of everything, including a cotton cover for her feeding tube, a cloth bandage to cover her IV line, a covering over the skin graft, and a ribbon to weave through her braid that matched the moss green midi dress.

  “Hunt told me if I put you in heels, he’ll tell Kieran to spank me. I got you these.” She held up a pair of Prada skimmers.

  Cassie wrapped her arms around each of them. “Thank you both so much.”

  Monique escorted her down to the breakfast nook with Sophie and Martin’s help. The table was set with hand-patterned linens and napkins. White Lenox china complemented the Waterford Ballet Ribbon crystal glassware. A simple arrangement of pink hydrangeas was centered on the table, and a pitcher of iced tea with lemon slices was beside one setting.

  “Oh my.” Cassie was overcome with emotion seeing the table. She never saw Martin shake Ian’s hand nor Monique and Sophie kiss Ian’s cheek and slip away.

  “Do you like it, sweetheart?” Ian was wearing a white linen shirt and khaki shorts. “You look beautiful.” He opened his arms.

  Cassie stepped into his embrace. Ian held on to her, never wanting to let go. “We should sit down,” she said.

  Ian realized he was crushing her. “I’m sorry.” He pulled out a chair, and after lifting the floral arrangement from the table, he brought out a thin crust veggie pizza. “I thought this might tempt your taste buds.” He was thrilled to see Cassie enjoy two slices of the pizza, but the dinner conversation was even better.

  Ian wanted to keep building her trust. “I have an idea. Pretend we’re playing The Dating Game. Remember those silly questions?”

  “It was the first reality TV show. I loved it. Okay, I go first. If you could choose one color to paint every surface in your house, what would it be?”

  “You have to tell me yours too. Green.”

  She crinkled her nose. “You said that because I’m wearing green.”

  “Nope. Ask my mom. I drove her and my dad nuts. I had a collection of green crayons, magic markers, pens, and pencils. Green Easter eggs, balls, dinosaurs, frogs, army men. The walls in my room, my sheets, and my clothes. I would only wear a shirt if it had green in it. And ask Kieran—I got into dad’s camouflage paint. I painted his face green. What’s yours?”

  “Well, I’m sure Kieran is happy you’ve curbed your zealousness a bit.” Cassie gave an unladylike snort. “My color is purple. It can be bluer or redder or pink.” Her eyes lit up as she talked about shading and perspective, displaying a glimpse of her artistic passion.

  They asked ridiculous questions about movies, TV shows, foods, cars, and books. They talked about celebrities and art. “Paul Yates said you were working on finding a Caravaggio. Any reason why?”

  Cassie nibbled on a delicious peach cobbler. “You know when you get the feeling you’ve seen something before?”

  “Déjà vu?”

  “Something like that. The Adoration. The same dream happens over and over. Three men are standing around it. I somehow know it's the painting, but it's folded up. You can only see the baby Jesus, but it’s not Jesus—it’s William.”

  “When did these dreams start?” Ian kept his tone relaxed.

  “Right after I lost him.”

  Ian held her hand. “Sweetheart, I was wondering where you got the Goldthwaite?” That was the painting she bought for Garett’s father.

  “I attended an art festival in Moscow, and while I was there, I viewed some paintings by a new artist. I went back to the gallery showing more of his work. I wanted to arrange a US show. Arkady was so personable. We shared some tea and made a deal.”

  “Arkady was the artist?”

  “No, Arkady Sabitov. He owned the gallery. While the show was in town, Bradford and Adrienne picked it out from his catalog. Arkady offered me a deal on the painting to thank me. Two weeks later, I picked it up at customs with a few other works.”

  Ian smiled at her, trying to steady his pounding pulse. The plot was coming together. Rain and high winds pelted the windows. “How about we go watch a movie?” When Cassie giggled, he asked, “What’s so funny? Do I have stuff in my teeth?”

  “No, you’re all clean and spiffy. It’s the Chase family ‘How about?’ It’s like your mom’s eyebrow—you can’t say no.”

  “Well, then how about this?” Ian kissed her. “And how about this?” Ian kissed her again.

  The masculine den smelled of leather and Ian. A small fire burned, even though it was July, because of the cold rain. Cassie examined the pictures of Ian and Kieran’s family on the walls. Monique’s family pictures occupied the mantel. A cabinet over the fireplace opened to reveal a TV.

  “I think you’ll like this. It’s called Sisters. Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. Sounds like a lot of fun.”

  Cassie couldn’t concentrate. She tucked herself into a corner of the soft, inviting couch, and Ian covered her legs with a hand-crafted throw and sat in the opposite corner. After starting the movie, he extended his arm across the back of the couch. A big bowl of buttery popcorn rested between them.

  Cassie inched a little closer. Holding still, Ian waited for his skittish kitten to come to him. A broad streak of lightning lit up the sky, followed by an explosive clap of thunder. When Cassie screamed and jumped into his lap, popcorn flew everywhere. “Shh, I’ve got you.”

  Cassie’s heart pounded. “Oh god, the thunder startled me. I’m sorry. The mess.”

  Ian rubbed her back. “It’s okay; don’t worry. I’ll let Knight in here. He’ll clean it up. Talk to me, Cassie. It might help.”

  Her arms stayed around him. “Thunder frightens me. It means lightning has struck. I hate lightning. When I was little, there was a bad storm, with lightning hitting everywhere. I remember my hair was floating in the air. One huge bolt struck the house next door and set it on fire. My friend Laurie couldn’t escape. Her parents and my dad tried hard, but my dad said it was too hot. Like people say on the news, they thought a tornado can pick and choose. I know it’s crazy now, but I thought the lightning was coming for me next. Every once in a while, and I….”

  Ian pulled the throw over them. “Oh, sweetheart, you can stay here in my arms. Safe and sound.” He kissed the top of her head.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  They never saw the movie. Instead, Cassie shared with Ian more about herself, and Ian told her about his plans to expand primary health care to more places in the country. Both realized they shared desires to help less fortunate people. Cassie’s eyes grew heavier until she was fast asleep cuddled against him.

  Ian felt a vibration in his pocket and smiled at the message filling the screen: Thought with the rain, Cassie should stay at the house. Tube feeding is on the counter, and the pump is in your bathroom. Everything else is in the red pouch. If you have a problem, you know where I am.

  Ian texted back: Yes, Daddy. FYI, I got two pieces of veggie pizza and some peach cobbler into her.

  Tucker texted back smiling emoticons.

  It was just after eleven. Assured all was quiet, Ian carried Cassie
up to his room and tucked her into his plush bed, then followed the instructions Tucker drilled into him.

  One look at her—her braid over one shoulder and an expression of peace on her face—made him want her there forever. Her face was soft and angelic while she slept. Ian observed her from the large club chair with his feet propped on the ottoman, his desire for her unyielding.

  As the storm continued to rage, Ian's neck started to tingle. It didn’t take long to understand why. His phone sounded a security alert, the new intrusion-detection system warning of multiple breaches from the water and the woods on the far side of the grounds. He disconnected the feeding and flushed the line. “Cassie, sweetheart, wake up.” He scooped her into his arms.

  Disoriented, she cried out in fear.

  “Cassie, it’s Ian. I’m sorry to wake you. I need to get you to the safe room.”

  "What's wrong?"

  "There’s a security breach. It could be the weather."

  Luke, Rachel with a leashed Knight, Kieran, and Monique met them on the stairs, heading to the basement. One of the Neiman paintings hid the entrance to a state-of-the-art panic room. Ellen and her husband, Sam, joined them. Inside, Ian placed Cassie on the couch. “I’ll see you soon.”

  "Be careful," Cassie said.

  “Go. We’ve got her,” Rachel assured him.

  Without looking back, Kieran and Ian secured the door behind them. As they grabbed weapons from the armory next door, Kieran received updates and gave orders, and Cassie’s brothers fanned out to take defensive positions. Scans of the area showed two four-man teams.

  Kieran and Ian hit the back door shoulder to shoulder. BOOM. An enormous explosion rocked the grounds, and flames erupted from the pool house. Both took off at full speed. Martin, Tucker, and Eric, coughing hard, met them partway up the path, all bearing evidence of shrapnel battering them. Rain soaked their sooty, bloodstained clothing.